There have been a number of times in my life that I can look back on when I believed that I couldn’t change my circumstances or that I couldn’t change because of my circumstances. I can remember how powerless, weak and insecure I felt.
Every time I allowed myself to believe this, I gave up my power to be more, do more, heck to even desire more out of life, allowing myself to settle for being mediocre at best. Maybe you’re in a place right now in your life where you’ve come to settle, or maybe you can’t see the clearing road past the tumbleweeds, wreckage and debris that lies in front of you.
If you’re spending all your time focusing your attention on the challenges that our world faces, the challenges that you face at work or lack of work, your less than perfect relationships, finances that are strained, lack of opportunities, your home based business is not going how you would like, your streak of “bad luck”… you name it, it’s happening to you.
I know I was. However, as I started to change my focus little by little, looking to find the good in the circumstances around me, I noticed a few things and learned a major lesson. First as I looked at the relationships in my life and shifted my focus to the good things that each of those relationships brought, it was almost magical, each of the relationships changed for the better or I got out (a choice was made).
Two, I quickly learned that all the time I wasted focusing on the illusions that kept me trapped by my so called circumstances were just that, an illusion that drifted away as I changed my focus. The truth is this; we always have choices in everything. How we decide to look at this world and the circumstances that we create, is a choice.
My challenge was now in figuring out what I wanted my life to look like, who did I want to be and what actions did I now need to take to change any circumstance that I was not happy with. What I found that was helpful was writing out what it was that I did not care for and then rewrite it again with a different ending that I could stand proud of. Once I did that, my mind started to focus on how it was going to bring that new ending to life.
Let me give you an idea of what this was like for me. Long ago I had created a relationship that had my partner stepping out and playing in someone else’s garden. I had focused on never creating this kind of a relationship. Eventually it was exactly what I created.
“Fast forward a bit.”
I went thought the exercise of writing out what I did not like in that relationship, this time with a whole new ending. Long story short, I ended up meeting and am now married to the most incredible women in the world (yes I am biased) and ultimately changed my circumstance.
The only limitation in this process is YOU. You are the only person who can control your outcome. And yes, along the way you will come up against obstacles like fear, that small voice in your mind that tries to keep you stuck and even some of the people around you.
You need to be able to refuse the temptation in staying stuck in your current circumstances and dedicate yourself at creating around you the ideal circumstance that you have always wanted.
One bit of friendly advice that I hope you will take to heart is, rather than running from each circumstance that surrounds you, look to see what you can do to improve it first. Most of the time running off to find new surroundings before really working though the challenge, has you running right in to the exact same circumstance just in a different place or with a different person.
It may take a few tries to get this right but that’s ok, as long as you stay committed at changing your circumstances to what you want them to be.
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